How to motivate my boyfriend to study? 8 simple tips

Table of Contents

1) Tell him about his future responsibilities

When you call with him, tell him about his future responsibilities.
- Tell him that he has to look after his family in the future.
- He has to buy a house
- A car (if necessary )
- Expenses for groceries
- Electricity bills and water bills
- Healthcare expenses
- When it has children school fee
- Entertainment and much more
- For all of the above things, understand your boyfriend about the importance of studying.
2) Tell him about the meeting with your parents.

Tell him that he has to meet your parents when the right time has come. Then tell him at that time he has to be some solid-state.
3) Make dreams and give targets to him to motivate your boyfriend

Tell him that you like to see him become a boss. And I think your boyfriend will understand that you are not a gold digger. (if you have a powerful relationship) tell him about such kind of dreams.
Then understand him that he should be a good state after some years later. Tell him you need to become an important person to society. Realize him that you don’t like to see him plea to anyone.
So tell him to perform an average of 50 marks for this exam. Then the next exam increases it into 60. after that, gradually increase it. So give that kind of target to him.
4) Teach him hard lessons

If you take care of him, you can identify his weak subjects. Then teach him those things. So you can motivate my boyfriend to study in this way.
If your boyfriend is not like to study, he probably doesn’t want to read books. So make reading books as his favorite habit . Do you know a girl can make his boyfriend a perfect man? so start to do it right now.
5) Keep certain times to call or text with him.

So you are thinking, “how to motivate my boyfriend to study.” Then if you are calling him every time you are a big reason for his weakness.
Discuss among both of you and understand the perfect times both of you can,
- You can call when feeling sleepy
- When going by bus
- Both of you can agree to call before 30 minutes of sleep. So then what happened? Assume you are sleeping at 11 P.M. you can call him at 10.30 P.M. you both can agree to study until that time. Then anyone will not sleep early. And get used to waking up early morning and study. But be careful not to take any distraction while you are studying. So you can call early morning too to avoid sleep while studying .
6) Teach him a proper time table to motivate your boyfriend

I know you are in the mission, which is the way to motivate your boyfriend to study. So why not you make a proper timetable for him? Then give it to him and push him to work with it.
7) Ask questions from him.

This is a handy method you will love. Suddenly get a call and ask him that you can’t understand a part of a particular subject. Even you know it, ask it. But don’t tell him that you know it.
“don’t know,”
then tell him,
“Please, can you read and understand it and teach it to me. Because I can’t understand it”.
Then what happened is he will learn it, and he will teach you. So try this kind of little tricks. With time you will see a good improvement with him.
8) Admire him to motivate your boyfriend
Have a beautiful future.
If you are the kind of girlfriend who wishes the success of your boyfriend, then you are right place. If you want to motivate your boyfriend to study, I have discussed through this article 8 successful tips to do it that work quickly.
What is your favorite you are going to try most? Tell me in the comment section.
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How to Find Motivation to Do Homework
Last Updated: January 31, 2023 References Approved
This article was co-authored by Jake Adams and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 21 testimonials and 83% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1,689,796 times.
Even if you love school, it can be hard to stay excited about doing homework. Just like with any other kind of work, it’s important to set personal goals and find your own inspiration to keep going. You can also help yourself focus by minimizing distractions and caring for yourself while you work. Finally, organize your time wisely and break your homework up into manageable pieces so it doesn’t feel too overwhelming.
Finding Your Drive and Inspiration

- Give yourself bigger rewards for bigger accomplishments. For example, you might go out for pizza with a friend after handing in an important paper.

- Just make sure you limit yourself to a specific amount of time (like 10 minutes, for example) so that you don’t end up getting totally distracted and wasting a few hours.
Did you know? Researchers in Japan recently discovered that looking at pictures or videos of baby animals before you start working can make you much more productive. [3] X Trustworthy Source PLOS ONE Online peer-reviewed, open access scientific research journal Go to source So, go ahead and watch a couple of cute kitten videos on YouTube the next time you need to work on a boring assignment. It might help!

- Doing homework with a friend doesn’t necessarily mean collaborating on the same assignments. You can just spend time together while you each do your own work. Only get your parent to help you if you need help.
- Check with your teacher first before working together with a friend on an assignment. They may want you to do the work by yourself.

- For example, if you’re a morning person, try doing your homework right after you eat breakfast.
- If you tend to get distracted while working at your desk at home, experiment with doing your homework in the library or a coffee shop instead.
- Some people also find it helpful to change their routine from time to time. If you find yourself getting bored, try working at a different time from usual or finding a new study space.

- Setting vague goals can lead to frustration. Instead of saying, “I’m going to get all my homework done this week,” try something more specific—e.g., “I’m going to work on my English essay for 1 hour every day this week.”

- For example, maybe you want to get good grades so you can get into your dream college, or possibly you’re working towards an exciting career.
- Doing a good job in your classes can also be its own reward—knowing that you worked hard and did your best is a great self-esteem booster!
Keeping Yourself Focused and Alert

- If you feel physically tense, do some yoga or light stretches before you begin to work.
- Doing breathing exercises can also help you feel more comfortable and alert.
- If you’re not already in comfy clothes, get changed before you start working. This may mean joggers, sweatpants, pjs, shorts, underwear, or even being completely naked. It's your choice.

- You’ll want a place where you can sit comfortably, but don’t get too comfortable. If you do homework in bed or on a cozy couch, you may be tempted to fall asleep!
- If you have to work at home, ask anyone who lives with you to give you a little quiet time while you do your homework.

- If you can’t resist messing around on your phone or visiting time-wasting websites on your computer, consider installing an app or a browser extension that blocks tempting apps and sites.
- Don’t try to work with a TV or radio on. If you listen to music while you do your homework, choose something that’s quiet and not too exciting, like some gentle classical music.

- Whole grains
- Healthy proteins, like fish, beans, or nuts
- Blueberries
- Leafy greens

- During your breaks, you can go for a walk, have a snack, do a little meditation , or even put your head down for a quick power nap .
- You can also use your breaks to reward yourself with a fun video or a quick game on your phone.
Did you know? Walking can improve your thinking skills. If you’re feeling stuck on a problem, going for a quick walk or even hopping on a treadmill can help! [13] X Research source

- For example, if you’ve been working on an essay for an hour or two, take a break and then switch to doing some math problems.
- Don’t try to do more than one task at once, though. Trying to multitask will disrupt your focus and cause you to make more mistakes.
Organizing Your Time Effectively

- Setting a schedule also makes it easier to avoid procrastinating .
- Make sure to schedule in time for breaks and relaxation, too!
Tip: You can avoid unpleasant surprises by writing important dates and deadlines into your schedule. For example, make note of when you have tests or quizzes coming up or when different assignments are due.

- Make an ordered list of all your tasks. Try to prioritize ones that are due soon, count towards a major part of your grade, or seem like they will be the most complicated to complete.
- Put assignments that aren’t due for a while or that you know you can finish quickly and easily at the bottom.

- For example, if you’re writing a big paper, you might break it up into pieces like doing the research, composing a bibliography, writing an outline, drafting the introduction, and so on.

- Productivity apps are helpful for some people, but they’re not for everyone. Make sure you don’t spend so much time worrying about the app that it starts to cut into your homework time! [19] X Research source
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- ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.oxford-royale.co.uk/articles/tips-studying-motivation.html
- ↑ https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0046362
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-should-students-study-tips-advice-and-pitfalls
- ↑ https://www.umassd.edu/fycm/goal-setting/resources/smartgoals/
- ↑ https://allianzassistancehealth.com.au/en/living-in-australia/studying-motivation-tips-university/
- ↑ https://www.wgu.edu/blog/improve-online-study-environment1712.html
- ↑ https://share.upmc.com/2019/08/healthy-snacks-to-power-studying/
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/homework.html
- ↑ https://news.stanford.edu/2014/04/24/walking-vs-sitting-042414/
- ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/studying-101-study-smarter-not-harder/
- ↑ https://www.aiuniv.edu/blog/2016/april/4-steps-to-prioritize-tasks
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/aug/18/time-management-apps-work-life-balance-productivity
About This Article

To find the motivation to do your homework, give yourself small rewards after you accomplish a goal, like a 5 minute video after finishing a reading assignment. For larger accomplishments, like completing an important paper, give yourself a bigger reward, like going out for pizza with friends. You can also try giving yourself a treat, like a scoop of ice cream or 10 minutes to text your best friend, before you begin working to lift your mood and make you more productive. If you have a friend who won’t distract you, see if they want to do homework together so you can keep each other on track. To learn how to pick the best time and place to do your homework, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No
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The Ways You Can Encourage Your Partner To Succeed
When you’re single, your only real worries revolve solely around you, yourself. Of course, you remain pervious to other forces and situations involving those you interact with — especially those that are closest to you, like your family and friends. When you’re in a relationship, on the other hand, things get ever so slightly more complicated. Assuming it’s a healthy relationship, you no longer are the sole proprietor and frequenter of your thoughts.
Your focus no longer is coming out ahead in each encounter as an individual, rather you and your partner both coming out ahead as a unit. This becomes clearer as our relationships progress from their earlier trial phases to their sustainable form after years of sharing time together. When you are in it for the long haul, the success of the relationship greatly depends on the individual happiness of each person within the relationship. As your partner’s partner, it’s your job — as well as in your best interest — to help your partner achieve his or her life dreams and goals.
The only relationships that last are those that continue to grow and develop towards each person’s individual goals. Once a person feels that he or she has lost touch with the dreams he or she once had, he or she becomes unhappy; the first place we point our fingers is always our relationships. Those who do their best to keep their lover’s goals as the goals of the relationship as a unit are those who remain happiest and remain together the longest. Luckily, the simplest form of helping your partner achieve their dreams is by facilitating the right type of environment for them.
1. Get Your Priorities Straight
Like all things worth doing, making things work will require a bit of planning and discussion on individual priorities — sharing our goals with the other and establishing a strong understanding of what it is that we need out of life. It may seem a bit over the top, but if you have made it to the point in your relationship when you are beginning to seriously visualize a future together, then it’s as good a time as any to actually consider the logistics of your future situation.
This talk should not be rushed because — let’s be honest — it’s a serious talk and could push your partner away rather than bring you closer together. But when the time does come, sit them down and ask them about their long-term and short-term goals. Go into the projected path that your love plans on following and go into as much detail as possible. The more you know, the better you will be able to help your partner reach his or her goals. Prioritize and make your next goals (yours and theirs) clear as well as what role the other should play.
2. Remember That They're Still Their Goals, Not Yours
Although you are in a serious relationship — maybe even married — your lover’s goals are still his or her goals, not yours; and it must remain that way. What makes goals worth having is the journeyed traveled along the way. If you butt in too much, you’ll end up taking that away from them. Think of yourself as an on-call advisor or assistant. You give advice only when asked for it and lend a helping hand under the same circumstances.
There are instances when your partner will ask you to be more hands on, but keep in mind that you are doing this for them and not for your own personal gain. Will her success make her very happy and in turn lead to better interpersonal connection and heightened sexual intercourse? Surely. But still, your goal is to help her with her dreams at that moment and not your own. Your partner should do the same in the same manner.
3. Be As Encouraging As Possible, But Don’t Be Unrealistic
Negativity has no place in your life, let alone in your relationship. The rule of thumb is that if you don’t have anything productive or positive to say, then don’t say it at all. You want to reassure your partner that they are doing a good job and that they will reach their goals as long as they continue to put in an honest effort. But don’t ever lie to them. Don’t tell them that what they’re working on is great when you know it to be a piece of sh*t.
Constructive criticisms need to be made when that’s what’s needed. It can be difficult telling the person that you love that you don’t love their work or their concept. But, it’s better that you share your opinion earlier on than they get their dreams crushed after they put in another couple months of work. Always be honest — just be so gently. The point is to show them other routes they can take and not to tell them that the work they have put in was all a waste. Always bring along a possible solution to any problem you may raise.
4. Give Each Other Space; Growing Separately Does Not Mean Growing Away
Sometimes the best thing you can do for the person you love is to give them some breathing room. To the individual undertaking the task, working towards the goal is of great importance and is difficult no matter under what circumstance or in what industry. The worst thing that you can do is smother them; it may seem like loving to you, but to them you’re a distraction. There will be times when smothering is what is wanted, but I recommend waiting until you are given a clear signal, like: “Baby I need you right now.”
If you ever get one of those, then drop whatever you are doing because being the success-driven person you are, you know exactly what being in that position is like. You want to maintain your autonomy as much as possible. You never want to feel that you and your relationship have blended and the line distinction between where you start and where your relationship begins starts to blur. You do you. Let them do them. And, if needed, you can do each other — as in support each other when support is need. Like when you find yourself in certain positions…such as when bridging or arching.
5. Take Care Of Yourself And Pick Your Fights
People have a tendency to let themselves go when in a relationship. You begin not to worry about putting on a few pounds, about shaving, about looking your best. You should always be trying to impress your partner — but that’s a different story. For the purpose of helping your love achieve success, making sure to look our best will give them pleasure. You see, making your partner happy is about doing a whole bunch of little things — not one big gesture at a time. You want your partner to always feel loved and — more importantly — you want them to always be wanting to rip your clothes off and jump your bones.
What relationship do you know failed while still at the “amazing sex” stage? None. Unless of course they are having amazing sex with just about anybody. Now that you’re in a serious relationship, you don’t have to worry about them cheating, but that doesn’t give you license to let your looks go. Human beings experience the world primarily through their senses. You should look, smell, taste and feel good. Being pleasing to your lover’s senses will have them feeling more comfortable and more efficient in their work. As their partner, it’s your job to remove as many negative distractions as possible.
Above all else, don’t pick stupid fights. It’s stupid to pick stupid fights in general, but when you know your partner is working on a big project, lay off them. You can discuss not eating in bed or making sure to vacuum under the rug another time. If your partner brings up such issues then just do your best to appease them and drop the topic until a more appropriate time. You are a team after all. Give each other the support you need and reaching your goals will be even easier than had you decided to live life solo.
Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr

How to Encourage the Man in Your Life: Encourage Him at Work
- BY Anne Bogel
- IN Relationships & Family , Way With Words , Womanly Skills , Work & Family
- 34 Comments | Comment

One friend had a tough decision to make. After a long job hunt, she and her husband had narrowed it down to two options: her hometown, or his. Each desperately wanted to settle near their own family and long-time friends, but the two cities were 3000 miles apart.
They chose his. “Here’s the thing,” she said. “My husband’s entering his profession on the bottom rung. In my hometown, the field is saturated, and he’ll have to beg for work. In his hometown, it’s wide open, and clients will be begging him to take them on. A man who’s happy in his work is easier to live with–so we’re moving.”
1. Show your man you’re interested in his work.
Ask him questions about his job–get to know the characters in his daily stories and become familiar with what his days at work look like. An older, wiser friend of mine, who has a Ph.D. in education, told me once she never thought she’d be interested in the roofing business–but since she’s married to a roofer, she has to be interested! Whatever it is your man spends his days doing, it’s your job to be interested. You can’t offer him genuine encouragement if you don’t understand what he does all day. Knowing what’s going on in his workplace has another benefit–you’ll know when he’s under a lot of stress at work, or when he’s riding high. You’ll know when he’s in a busy season, or when his schedule’s a little freer. And you can use this information to better calibrate your relationship.
2. Show your man respect.
Your man wants to know that you, his woman, thinks he can handle it–no matter what “it” is. Obviously, this applies to his work. Show him that you respect his ability to perform in the workplace. He wants to be seen as capable and competent–especially by you.
3. Be your man’s sounding board.
Ask him how his day went, and listen to the answer. Be supportive and understanding. Try and set aside some time every day to have this end-of-the-day conversation. Encourage him by giving him the opportunity to feel truly heard and understood.
3. Take his side.
If your man trusts you to be his sounding board, then you’re going to hear the bad as well as the good. You’ve got to show him you are on his side. This is not the time to criticize or question him. Let him know he has your support, that you believe in him, and that you’re on his team.
4. Don’t give unsolicited advice.
If he wants your help, he’ll ask for it. Don’t try and solve his problems for him. This means you don’t email him “helpful” articles or otherwise make him feel like a “project.” Don’t micro-manage him or try to make his workplace decisions for him. If he asks for your advice, it’s because he wants your advice–go ahead and tell him what you think. But ultimately, give him the freedom to be in control of his own job.
5. How to encourage your man when he’s not at work.
MMD ranks high on google search terms for variations on phrases like “how to encourage a man.” Lots of women want to know how to best offer encouragement to their husbands and boyfriends. My keywords are showing lots of hits right now for phrases “how to encourage my husband when he’s unemployed” and “how to encourage frustrated husband can’t find a job.”
Here’s how to do it: Show him you’re interested in how he spends his days. (Does he want to talk about his job prospects? Potential interviews? Be interested. Know what he has on the horizon.) Let him know you think he’s capable, competent, and employable. Be on his side. Don’t give unsolicited advice.
Recommended Reading:
The Magic 5 Hours for a Successful Marriage .
How to Encourage the Man in Your Life: Don’t Shoot Down His Ideas
How to Encourage the Man in Your life: Ignite His Adventurous Spirit
34 comments
Great advice! I would also add that it is important to give him space if he doesn’t want to talk about a particular bad day, or situation at work. I tend to need to “talk things out”, and my husband doesn’t need that much “vent” time. So I have to respect that while I may want to know more about a situation, he may not want to over discuss it.
You can be a great help if your hubby is one of the few ‘honest’ employees, like mine is. He never cheats on company time and always puts his all in. Sometimes it gets really frustrating when the higher-ups don’t notice. It helps him not to get discouraged if YOU at least notice. These things pay off eventually, but sometimes he needs a boost until they do!
So true, our hubbies need our support when they are not home as much as when they are. I really appreciated Amber’s comment. My guy is quiet like that too, and if I push him to talk when he doesn’t want to, it will not help the situation. Being quiet and listening to the little comments he makes is important in order to know what’s going on in his life. He’s not going to write me a book, but he might make one statement about how his day was rough. That needs to be enough to know that I can encourage him and let him know he is appreciated!
Excellent advice Ann…. # 4 cracked me up
This is very timely advice for me! My husband will graduate with his Ph.D. in May and has already begun the job hunt. His Ph.D. is in a very technical scientific field and I have a very hard time understanding his research with my basic science knowledge. Reading this made me realize that maybe I haven’t put enough effort into supporting him and understanding the pressure he is under (we are expecting a baby later this year, so there is pressure for him to find a good job right away after he graduates). I’m going to bookmark this post and refer to it often!
I thought I was the only one! Husband’s finishing his Ph.D. November next year, and I also have an extremely limited knowledge & understanding of science… I can relate to stress about finding a job, because except for being an academic, there’s not a lot of work for physicists! I really appreciated Hannah’s comment as well – it’s a great encouragement to realize that SOMEONE notices hard/honest work… Thank you for the post!
What a great post. As Christian wives, we are to encourage our husband. I love this post!
Christian wives?!!! give me a friggin break. Why are the husbands considered as anything above all else in earning power than their wives?!!! There are plenty of women who have full time jobs and no-job husbands! how is the bible going to help?!!! You obviously think that only men earn livings. More to your detriment. Females, do not depend on men!!!!
Very nice post!!!! i need encouragment in building my husband up and being respectful. my big mouth always gets me in trouble and i always need a nice reminder of how to be a better wife. thanks for the reminder :0)
These were really great ideas and reminders! One of the best words of advice I heard when I got married was to “be loyal to him in every thought, word, and action”. Encouraging him to be and do his best is right up that alley! Thanks so much for sharing this!
Great advice. One thing I try to do is ask myself – how would I respond to one of my friends in this situation. If husband is supposed to be my best friend (and he really is), I’d better be sure to treat him like one.
This is great advice for anybody who wants to encourage a working person! In my family, I’m the one who’s been most consistently employed–same job for over 12 years, while he’s had some long periods of unemployment–and every one of these tips applies to encouraging me, too. Amber’s advice is also great.
Something that’s probably worth mentioning: Avoid interrupting him at work to demand that he listen to (or read in e-mail or text) what’s going on at home, and when he gets home avoid greeting him with, “Everything is horrible here! You have to take over right away so I can rest!” I hate that as a working mom, and I used to supervise a man whose wife called him about 4 times a day for various trivial reasons and distracted him badly. Try to reserve workday interruptions and “crisis mode” greetings for genuine emergencies.
“Be on his side” really is a crucial tip not just for spouses but for anyone who knows anyone who works in a different field. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve explained a problem at work to one friend or another, only to have her tell me some solution that’s totally infeasible given the technical details of my work. Even if you think you can see a great solution that the worker is missing, the best approach is to ask gentle questions like, “Is it possible to do those calculations in Excel?” And you should never, ever say, “I wouldn’t put up with that!”–it can never make a person feel anything other than offended–instead, say something like, “It’s awful that they treat you that way; you deserve better.”
Thank you for all these ideas. I have to admit, after 25 years of of marriage, that I have gotten lazy in encouraging my husband at work. Will have to wor kon that.
I find that trying to give my husband and minute when he gets home shows him that I realize how hard he’s been working all day. It doesn’t have to be a long minute, just a minute.
Found this through Women Living Well Wednesday. This is great advice. I was not very good at this in the beginning, but I am getting better about it now. He decided to get unlimited texting on our phones; and while I don’t like the extra expense, I do like that we can ‘talk’ all day long and I can encourage him while he’s gone. Thanks!
As always, you hit it out of the park with this one! This is an area where I struggle greatly, since my husband is self employed, in real estate. The stress of a job that is unpredictable makes me a little crazy, but it’s my leap of faith. I have to trust that God will guide him, and that my husband will be successful.
hey loved the 3 articles on how to encourage your husband …..made alot of sense even out here in Africa my husband being pastor and all . faith kenya
This is such great advice but my situation is different. My husband owns a booming plumbing and septic company. He has all the advertisements and customers calling on my phone. I’m not so good with talking to people (especially when it comes to septic tanks, etc) and I don’t know what to say to them. I want to be the best wife I can be. We’ve been married 11 days now:) I try. I just need to get more involved and learn how to do this. My husband asks for my help a lot. Any advice?
11 days? Goodness, Brittany, congratulations!!
Well, it’s only been 11 days. And that’s great that business is booming! I’m sure there’s a learning curve and you’re on the tough end of it right now, but it will get better with time–especially if you’re actively trying to help. When your husband asks for your help, does he say what kind of help he’s looking for? Because right now, even without knowing much about plumbing, you could likely manage to take a friendly message and have your husband call back to discuss details. And you’ll certainly learn more about plumbing with time.
I think the fact that you’re trying means you’re on the right track. Good luck, and congrats again on the marriage!
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you are amazing, Anne! that’s exactly what I was looking for. God bless!
Thank you! I’m so glad you found what you needed. Thanks for stopping by!
I love posts like this. Always remind me to give thanks for what I hvae.
That’s a great thought, Michel. Thanks for stopping by and for commenting!
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I have a boyfriend who is having money problems and I don’t know what to say to encourage him in his time of need. He calls me and doesn’t have much to say on the phone. I try to say things to make him laugh but that only lasts for a second, then he’s back to being sad. I wish I could help him with his money problems but I’m having money problems myself. I wish I could say the right words to make him feel better.
While this is all well and good and solid relationship advice… the main question for me at the end is does he reciprocate for *your* job? Such as encouraging you to be happy and successful at work, asking about your day, being your sounding board etc? Or is this expected to be one sided?
GREAT question. This should be a two-way street, no doubt about it. I wrote this early on in response to a very specific reader question, which I probably should have stated. (I’ve learned a lot in 2 years of blogging!)
I just came across this blog just when I need to give some encouragement to my new boyfriend. He hasn’t been in touch in the last few days – He is having a hard time at work and has made a few employees redundant. What a huge toll on him. I have reached out to him showing that no matter what I will be here and support what he thinks is best but it felt like we are drifting away – since obviously, we are new in the relationship. What should I do?
Number 4 really helped me out because I found myself giving unsolicited advise and did not understand why it was not welcome. Thank you for sharing this.
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I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with Dr Mack who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because Dr Mack has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called Dr Mack and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to John for what he has done for me. I’d advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life. His email is [email protected] yahoo. com═════★☆★●
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He’s Not Motivated: Part I
Understanding a child’s lack of motivation and effort..
Posted April 23, 2012 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
- What Is Motivation?
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As a child therapist, I am often told, “He’s not motivated. All he wants to do is watch television or play video games.” Parents urgently ask, “Why doesn’t he put more effort into his schoolwork? Why doesn’t he care?” Many parents believe that their child is “lazy.”
The answer to these questions is almost always, “Because he is discouraged.” He may also be anxious or angry, and he is stuck in this bad mood. He feels that putting effort into his schoolwork is not “worth it” and it is easier for him to pretend that he doesn’t care.
He may mask his discouragement with defiance or blame others (especially his teachers) for his lack of effort. Often, he will seek relief in activities that require little sustained effort and that offer, instead, some immediate feeling of success.
The problem of “lack of motivation ” is the problem of demoralization, whether overt or disguised.
To solve the problem of a child’s lack of motivation, we need to return to first principles: Children, when they are not angry or discouraged, want to do well. They want to feel good about themselves—and about others. They want to earn our praise and approval, and they want us to be proud of them. Children say that they don’t care, but they do care.
Sustained effort is a different matter. Our ability to work hard, to sustain effort at any task, requires a feeling of accomplishment or progress along the way, and some confidence in our eventual success. All constructive activity involves moments of anxiety, frustration, and discouragement. Children who are “not motivated” too readily give in to these feelings; they do not bounce back.
Children often hide their anxiety and discouragement behind defiant and rebellious attitudes. “What is the point of studying history or math anyway, I’m never going to use it.” “Who cares who the King of England was in 1850?” Good teachers—teachers who encourage and inspire children, and then demonstrate the relevance of learning—can help us here. But a demoralized child is unlikely to find any relevance in what we want to teach him. He will then be criticized, repeatedly, for his lack of effort, and he will become more rebellious. And he will look elsewhere for a feeling of acceptance and a feeling of pride.
How often do we understand the problem of our children’s motivation in this way? How often do we see a child’s lack of effort not as a problem of demoralization but as a “behavior” problem? How often do we blame the influence of peers, or television and other media distractions? How often do we become frustrated and angry, and then, in our frustration, tell him that he just has to work harder?
Children are not lazy. They may be frustrated and discouraged, anxious or angry; they may have become disillusioned or defiant, self-critical or pessimistic, and they may lack confidence in their ability. But this is not laziness. The misconception that kids are lazy is one of the most common, and most destructive, misunderstandings of children. It is one of the most important misunderstandings that I (and others) hope to correct.
When you understand your child’s lack of motivation as a problem of demoralization, you will be able to look for the real causes of her lack of enthusiasm and effort, and you will be more likely to find helpful solutions.
Undiagnosed (or under-appreciated) attention and learning disorders are the most common source of discouragement and lack of sustained effort (“motivation”) in children. For these children, doing schoolwork or homework is like running with a sprained ankle—it is possible, although painful—and they will look for ways to avoid or postpone this painful and discouraging task. Or they may run ten steps and then find a reason to stop.
What really motivates children?
Motivation begins with interest. Interest leads to exploration and learning, and to the development of projects. Projects then become ambitions and goals. Like all of us, children want to do what they are “good at.” They want to shine and feel proud. And, again, they want us to be proud of them.
Motivation Essential Reads

A child’s motivation is also sustained by ideals. Children want to become like, to learn from, and to earn the respect of the people they admire. Too often, we overlook this fundamental aspect of children’s motivation and emotional development. We do not stop often enough, I believe, to consider our idealization in the eyes of our children—how children look to us and look up to us—and how we remain for our children, throughout life, sources of affirmation and emotional support.
Rewards and punishments have some short-term effect on children’s effort. We are all motivated, to some extent, to earn rewards and avoid punishment . But rewards and punishments cannot create interests or goals.
I sometimes think of children’s motivation in the form of equations:
- Motivation = interest + a sense of one’s competence + relevance + ideals
- Motivation = interest + confidence (the anticipation of success) + the anticipation of recognition (praise or appreciation) for our effort
- Motivation = having a goal + feeling that we can achieve it
In my next post, I will offer solutions to this common problem, ways that we can strengthen our children’s motivation and effort.
Copyright Ken Barish, Ph.D.
Ken Barish, Ph.D., is the author of Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems .

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D. , is a clinical associate professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University.

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Homework is easy with expert tips and advice. And even easier when you have an expert to do it for you.
How to Get Motivated to Do Homework: Tips and Tricks From Experts
Students all around the world are facing a serious problem almost every day. They need to complete their homework. And in many cases, they need to complete quite a few assignments every day. Many students don’t manage to complete their school assignments on time, even if these assignments are interesting. These people would probably really enjoy working on their homework if they were motivated.
So, to be more productive and more efficient, you need to learn how to get motivated to do homework in college. In fact, learning how to get motivated is important for students of any age. With the right state of mind, a few tips and tricks, and a bit of planning, you will quickly be able to greatly increase your productivity even on less interesting projects.

How Do You Do Homework When You Don’t Want To?
“Every kid goes through puberty. They wonder what to do about girls and struggling with homework, and every adult has been through that.” Tom Holland
Here is what to do in case you feel unmotivated in school to do your homework:
- Recall all the past embarrassments as a result of your failure. Let that act as a motivation to get down and do your homework.
- Keep yourself busy with reading motivation to do homework quotes. It will boost your morale and compel you to do it.
- Associate yourself with people who love to do their homework. You will be challenged to get motivated to study.
- Develop a positive mindset towards homework. The mentality you have towards something will determine whether you do it or not.
A Good State of Mind – How to Make Yourself Do Homework and Love It
As with all things, it is important to be in a good state of mind when you start doing your homework. In fact, the right state of mind is the first thing you need to learn if you are wondering how to motivate yourself to do homework quickly and efficiently. When you have a good state of mind – when you think positive – you immediately become a lot more productive. You start liking what you do and don’t consider the homework a chore anymore.
Think of it this way; is there anything you would do with pleasure when you are sad and depressed? Probably not; and this applies to homework as well. Also, it really helps to not consider the homework a chore you need to do because you would get punished otherwise. If you want to learn how to motivate yourself to do homework, you need to be able to think about homework as a necessary thing that will help you advance and that will help you become better in class and in life.

How Do I Regain Motivation For School?
“You don’t drown by simply falling in the water. You drown by staying there.” Louis Cole.
One can, therefore, get motivated for school once again by:
- Loving your teachers or tutors . It is a determinant of the coziness of students in school.
- Getting involved in school activities . You will be able to feel a sense of belonging to the school and therefore feel an urge to stand by it.
- Relating well with other students . A school is like a community in which peaceful coexistence is necessary for the motivation to study.
- Finding pride in everything about your school .
As you may already know, most students hate homework because they associate it with a chore. Why don’t you associate homework with something interesting? You love interesting projects and would love to work with your fellow students on them. Why don’t you think about homework as an interesting project? Yes, you work alone on your school assignments, but nobody says you can’t call a friend or two and collaborate with them. One or two “colleagues” may be all the motivation to do homework you need. There are also a few tips and tricks that will help you with this quite a bit.
How Do You Do Homework Fast And Fun?
Everybody wants to get done with that homework fast and tune in to that favorite TV show as soon as possible. The trick is simple:
- Gather all you need for your homework
- Ensure the internet is at its best
- Get rid of any distractions
- Turn off your phone (for just that little while)
Tips and Tricks on How to Motivate Yourself to Do Homework
Here are some of the best tips and tricks you need to know when you want to learn how to make yourself do homework:
- Listen to music, but not just any music . Calming, relaxing music is recommended for students who are working on their homework. Keep the volume low so that the music doesn’t bother you or those around you. Of course, you are free to use headphones if you wish. Instrumental music works best because there are no lyrics to pay attention to. Symphonies from Tchaikovsky, Beethoven and Bach are great choices.
- Set goals and establish a reward system. Write the goals down so you don’t forget about them. Split complex assignments into smaller parts and set a goal for each part. Give yourself a reward after you finish every part, like 10 minutes off, a cookie, or even a quick video game. You will quickly learn how to be motivated to do homework with rewards.
- Take regular breaks. If you work several hours without taking any breaks, you will quickly tire and your motivation will dwindle away. You should take a 10- to 15-minute break every hour or so. Stretch for a bit, drink some water and disconnect from your work. You’ll return to the homework refreshed and a lot more motivated.
- Keep the consequences in mind. If you want to learn how to get motivated to do homework, you need to learn how to think about the consequences of your actions. Do you want a couple of low grades? Do you want your classmates to make jokes about you? Do you want to lose your self-esteem? Probably not; this is why you need to dedicate some time and effort to doing your homework every day. You’ll get plenty of free time after you finish it.
- Get some rest, if needed. You won’t be in the right state of mind to do your homework with pleasure if you are tired. This means that it is a very good idea to get a good night’s sleep before you start on a complex assignment. If you feel tired, get one or two hours of rest (also known as a power nap) and you will instantly feel refreshed and ready to tackle even the most difficult project. It doesn’t take much to get motivation to do homework.
How Do You Do Homework When You Can’t Focus?
If you can’t focus , you will keep on asking yourself, “why am I bad at doing homework?” Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be the case at all. The solution lies herein:
- Take a cup of coffee to stimulate your mind.
- Have a change of environment for a moment.
- A cold shower would do some good (really)
- Listen to that favorite song for a while then get back to the homework.
- A rest, probably 30-minute nap is recommended
- Go to a quiet room and settle there
Does It Really Work?
Yes, you can learn how to get motivated to do homework. There is no question about it that the tips listed above work for most students. However, you also need to be able to put yourself into the right state of mind to work on your school assignments. It’s never a good idea to work on them when you are depressed or very tired. Get a bit of rest instead of struggling with the homework; it will help you a lot in the long run. Also, making sure you organize your workload and plan ahead is very important. Start working on more complex project early to avoid having to rush the assignment. As you already know, rush jobs will never get you the good grades you need and deserve.
I remember one thing that motivated me to finish my homework on time ; the fact that I would never do it again as I advanced. Every day I would say to myself, “just a little bit more; everything has an end.” Verily I say to you, the trick worked, and never did I see homework as an enemy, but rather, a best friend. One with whom I knew would guarantee a bright future for me.
Another interesting tip is to enlist the support of your friends and family. Ask your friends about how they manage to do their homework on time every day. Ask your parents about how difficult homework was in their college days. You will get the motivation you need to finish all your school assignments quickly and get a lot more spare time.
What Is The Best Time To Do Homework?
How do you see it waking up at dawn when your mind is fresh and alert and then doing all your homework? Wouldn’t it augur well if you just did your homework after refreshing your mind from all the day’s work in a school?
Still can’t find enough motivation to deal with homework? Good news! Enter promo “ homework20 ” and grab your writing assignment with 20% discount!

2 comments on “ How to Get Motivated to Do Homework: Tips and Tricks From Experts ”
THX so much for this!!!
This was a simple, short, and sweet article. On this note, you may want to include how to not get distracted while working on a computer or laptop or any other electronic device for that matter. I am guilty of this myself; whenever I have been assigned to do homework on my laptop, I like to play games and open other tabs on Google.If you could add this bit to this article, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for all the useful tips you have provided, and I can’t wait to see this portion in your article that I have suggested above!
Kaelyn Wilkins <3
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How To Motivate Child To Do Homework (7 Practical Tips)
By: Author Pamela Li Pamela Li is an author, Founder, and Editor-in-Chief of Parenting For Brain. Her educational background is in Electrical Engineering (MS, Stanford University) and Business Management (MBA, Harvard University). Learn more
Posted on Last updated: Jan 31, 2023 Evidence Based
“How to motivate a child to do homework” is on almost every parent’s mind right now. Getting kids to do homework is not always painful. In fact, it can be outright fun!
In this article, I will share the secret on motivating your child to not only do homework but also love homework. Yes, you read it right. It is possible to love doing school work. No yelling, screaming, threatening or crying required.
Why Do Kids Hate Homework
Let’s start with kindergarteners.
For many children, kindergarten is their first formal experience in school.
Kindergarten has changed a lot over the last decade.
Once a place for socialization and play, kindergartens now emphasize the importance of learning to read, to count, to sit still and to listen to the teachers.
Going from playing all day at home to behaving or sitting still in a structured environment for hours at a time is a tough transition.
To add to that, many kindergartens also assign homework to these little children, further reducing their available play time.
It’s no wonder that some kindergarteners are not motivated to do homework.

Homework Motivation
Remember when your child was still a toddler, he/she would get into anything and everything?
They were curious and they were eager to learn about everything around them.
They were passionate learners .

Children naturally love learning, if we provide the right environment and motivate them appropriately.
Here’s the problem…
When you hear the word “motivate”, what do you think of it?
If you’re thinking about toys, money, iPad time, points, stickers, etc., you’re not alone.
Rewards (and sometimes punishments) are many parents’ go-to motivators.
Parents love them because they work almost instantly.
You present the prize and the child complies to get it. Problem solved.
Simple and effective.
But very soon, you will notice some unintended results.
Here is an example.
Some years ago, after a lecture, Professor Mark Lepper was approached by a couple who told him about a system of rewards they had set up for their son, which had produced much improved behavior at the dinner table. “He sits up straight and eats his peas and the Brussels sprouts and he is really very well behaved,” they reported. Until, that is, the first time the family dined at a nice restaurant. The child looked around, picked up a crystal glass from the table and asked, “How many points not to drop this?” A fine example, says Dr. Lepper, of the detrimental effects of over-reliance on rewards to shape children’s behavior. Mark Lepper: Intrinsic Motivation, Extrinsic Motivation and the Process of Learning By Christine VanDeVelde Luskin, Bing Nursery School at Stanford University
This example is far from rare.
In fact, it is very common when a child is motivated purely by an external reward.
Once the reward is removed, the child will no longer be interested in continuing the behavior.
What’s the right way to motivate our children?
The answer is intrinsic motivation .
Intrinsic motivation refers to engaging in an activity for its pure enjoyment.
This enjoyment comes from within an individual and is a psychological satisfaction derived from performing the task, not from an extrinsic outcome.
In other words, to get your kid to do homework, first help them enjoy doing it .
It is not as crazy as it sounds.
It’s unfortunate that homework is called “work”.
We like to separate work from play.
So naturally, we feel that homework is drudgery.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Homework is a tool for children to learn and get familiar with the knowledge taught in class.
To enjoy homework, the child has to enjoy learning .

How To Motivate a Child To Do Homework
To motivate kids , we first change our mindset, from a working mindset to a learning mindset .
The goal of going to school is not about getting into college, finding a good job, earning a stable income, etc.
Of course, all of those are wonderful, but that’s a working mindset – you’re doing all that work for reasons other than enjoying the learning itself.
Going to school is about learning , acquiring knowledge, exploring new subjects and growing as a person.
In the US, the average expected years of schooling is 16.7 years 1 .
If a child doesn’t like school, that will be 16.7 years of misery.
You don’t want that for your child.
But here’s the good news.
If you can intervene early, like in kindergarten or even before kindergarten, your child will be getting off to a good start.
So, convince yourself to change from the working mindset to the learning mindset.
It sounds abstract, but here are 7 tangible steps for moving toward that goal.
1. Stop referring to kid doing homework as your child’s “job”
When you call it a “job”, you are implying that it will be all work and no fun.
Doing that is setting up a child to feel bad even when it’s not.
2. Don’t tell your child, “you cannot play until you finish your homework”
Again, by putting homework in a category separate from play, you are saying that it cannot be enjoyable.
The importance of play cannot be overstated. So make it count 2 .
Tell your child that they can do both (of course, only healthy physical play like basketball or biking, but not watching iPad).
They can decide the order of doing them as long as they do both by the end of the day.
You’d be surprised – giving a child autonomy over their homework schedule is one of the biggest motivators.
3. Don’t use “no homework” as rewards
I once heard that some teachers would give students with good behavior “no homework tonight” as a reward.
I was horrified.
Homework is for practicing what we’ve learned in school.
It helps us understand and remember better.
It’s not a punishment or torture that you need a “break” to feel better.
Don’t give your child the impression that homework is something you want to get away from.
4. Do not nag, bribe or force
Do not nag and do not force your kid to do homework, whether through rewards or punishment.
“But then, how to make kids do homework?” parents wonder.
Don’t make your child do homework. Period.
Forcing or bribing will only backfire and reduce your child’s intrinsic motivation 3 .
The motivation to do homework needs to come from within the child themselves.
5. Let your child face the natural consequences
“But what to do when my child refuses to do homework?” many frustrated parents ask.
When your child refuses to do school work, let them… after you explain why doing homework is important for learning and what may happen in school if they don’t.
Walk them through the natural consequences for not doing homework – they won’t retain the information well and they will need to accept whatever natural consequences in school. They will have to explain to the teacher why the homework was not done and they may lose some recess time, etc (but first confirm that the school doesn’t use corporal or other types of cruel punishment).
Wait… What?!
You think I should let my child fail?
Well, not doing homework in lower grades is not the end of your child’s academic career.
Think about this, you cannot force or bribe your child through college.
Help them understand the purpose of learning and doing homework now .
You’re helping them make the right decision by letting them understand and face the natural consequences sooner rather than later.
6. Do homework with your child
Don’t tell your kid that homework is important, show them through your action.
Do the homework with them.
You are telling your child you value this so much that you are willing to take the time to do it together. Besides, parental involvement is associated with better school performance 4 .

7. Make doing homework fun and positive
There are many ways to make homework for kids fun.
Let’s take a look at two methods I’ve used and the results.
You can try them or invent your own.
Method 1: Use doing homework as a “reward” (younger kids like kindergarteners)
Wait, you said that using rewards wasn’t good a moment ago.
Now you say, “use homework as a reward”?
Well, I said rewards were bad because you would be implying the activity you’re trying to motivate your child to do was not as good as the reward.
But here, I am using homework as a reward.
I am signaling to my child that doing homework is so good that she needs to “earn it”.
How to earn it?
You can try different things.
We used “If you behave, you can do homework with me. If you don’t behave, you can’t do homework.”
We started at preschool and it worked very well.
Parents who have tried this report good results in motivating their children to do homework, too.
But some of them have concerns…
Some parents are uncomfortable with this idea because it feels manipulative.
That’s because these parents do not believe in the idea that homework can be fun.
So they feel like they’re lying to the child.
But I genuinely like homework! (Yes, I’m officially a nerd)
So I have no problem helping my child learn to love homework like me.
If you are not convinced yourself, you may not want to try this method. Or if your child is older and already hates homework, it won’t work.
However, although I don’t agree with using manipulative measures in general, I don’t see this particular one harmful to children even if the parents do not like homework themselves.
Method 2: Turn doing homework into a game and a bonding activity
When my daughter was in preschool, I bought colorful homework books and we did them together.
Sometimes we took turns – she did one problem and I did the next and so on.
Sometimes we raced to see who would finish the page faster.
Sometimes I did them wrong intentionally so that my daughter could point out the wrong answers.
It was actually very empowering and satisfying for her to be able to catch Mom’s mistakes!
We celebrated when we both finished or got the right answers.
It was a lot of fun and my kid enjoyed doing that so much.
By the time she started kindergarten, she already loved homework.
In kindergarten, I couldn’t do her homework because, well, that’s her homework.
So I bought homework books that were similar to the ones she brought from school. Then I did problems alongside her as she did hers.
We still raced, celebrated, and had fun doing it.
The result?
At the beginning of her kindergarten year, my daughter was given two homework books to take home. The teacher would assign homework from the books every week. They were supposed to be used for the entire school year. But my kindergartener liked doing homework so much that she finished them all in one month! No yelling, screaming, threatening, or crying is required.
Also See: How to Motivate Older Kids to Do Homework Using Reverse Psychology
Final Word On Motivating Your Kid To Do Homework
Getting your kid to do homework is only the first step in building a good learning habit. Finishing homework or getting good grades is not the purpose of going to school. Instill the love of learning in your child early on and your child will benefit for life.
- 1. et al. xpected duration of education for all students: Countries Compared. NationMaster. https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Education/Expected-duration-of-education-for-all-students
- 2. Ginsburg KR. The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds. PEDIATRICS . Published online January 1, 2007:182-191. doi: 10.1542/peds.2006-2697
- 3. Lepper MR, Greene D. Turning play into work: Effects of adult surveillance and extrinsic rewards on children’s intrinsic motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . Published online 1975:479-486. doi: 10.1037/h0076484
- 4. Nye C, Turner H, Schwartz J. Approaches to Parent Involvement for Improving the Academic Performance of Elementary School Age Children. Campbell Systematic Reviews . Published online 2006:1-49. doi: 10.4073/csr.2006.4
* All information on parentingforbrain.com is for educational purposes only. Parenting For Brain does not provide medical advice. If you suspect medical problems or need professional advice, please consult a physician. *
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How to Motivate Yourself to Do Homework

Finding the Motivation to Do Homework
Homework often finds itself on the list of things that stress young people out the most. It's not easy to stay on top of the ever-increasing amounts of homework that is assigned and many students find themselves unmotivated to do homework. Unfortunately, homework tends to make up a large proportion of a student's grades nowadays, but studies have shown that homework does have positive influences on memory as well as long-term career growth. So in this article, you will learn how to motivate yourself to do homework so that it’s more fun. The more fun you have doing homework the faster it will get done and the more time you will have to enjoy other activities!
How to Motivate Yourself to Do Homework?
Find a good spot.
People tend to believe that the only place you can get work done is on a desk or table but this isn't necessarily true. Everyone is different and everyone has different preferences for where they learn the best. Try various locations around you to find a place that motivates you to do homework. You can lay on a bed and spread all your materials around you, go outdoors and sit on the grass under a tree, go to a library and work around people, sit at a cafe, Etc. Take the time to explore and find a place you enjoy doing homework. Once you find a spot, don't feel like you always have to study there, anytime you lack motivation make a change of scenery and it might help.
Break tasks up
One of the most demotivating things about homework is just how much can pile up. When you feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework you have, break it up into smaller tasks. 3 chapters of physics to read sounds daunting, but 1 chapter every hour is much easier. 100 math problems is a lot but five sets of 20 are more manageable. Combine this with some of the tips right below to improve motivation even more.
Give yourself rewards
It's possible to train yourself to be more motivated to do homework. A simple trick based on operant conditioning is to give yourself a reward every time you are done with a task. The reward releases dopamine in the brain and eventually, you will connect finishing a task to feeling good without the need for a reward. A reward can be absolutely anything that you enjoy. For example, after every 30 minutes of reading, you can watch a 5-minute YouTube clip, play a video game for 10 minutes, or treat yourself to a cookie.
Take a break
Studies recommend that you should take a 15-minute break after every hour of work. This isn't just true of homework and studying but true in the workplace as well. This is different from giving yourself a reward because rewards are based on finishing tasks whereas taking a break is dependent on time. Apart from taking a break every hour or so, anytime, you feel demotivated and it feels like you are forcing yourself to do homework. Taking a break for an hour will calm your mind and let you focus on the task better when you come back to it.
Set the mood
Being in a positive state of mind when you start a new homework task is one of the best ways of dealing with the question of how to get motivated to do school work. If you are tired or upset, the homework might seem tougher than it is and any setbacks will demotivate you strongly. If you think you are in a bad mood then take some time to de-stress and relax.
Make a schedule
Making and sticking to a schedule reinforces that certain times are meant for studying and can help with motivation. If you know if you are a morning person or an evening person, schedule your study times accordingly. A schedule can also help you organize your home study time and give you a sense of control, further increasing motivation.
Switch between tasks
Just because you set a schedule for yourself doesn't mean you have to follow it exactly. If you schedule 2 hours to work on an essay but after an hour you feel demotivated and stuck with the task, switch to doing some science reading. Switching activities when demotivated allows you to keep motivation high by doing tasks that you enjoy when stuck on a boring assignment.
Get rid of distractions
Staying focused on homework is difficult enough to do without the distractions of television and phones. Studies have shown that multitasking is impossible for humans to do and makes us worse at both the things we're attempting. Don't try to watch your favorite show while doing homework, it will only make the homework last longer. Put your phone on silent mode and keep it in a different room until you have a reward time or a break because constantly checking messages or social media every 5 minutes will distract you from homework you should be doing.
Listen to specific music
One of the ways to make homework more enjoyable is to listen to music, but in the last tip we just told you to get rid of distractions, so what's the deal? Well, studies have shown that certain types of music boost productivity whereas other types reduce productivity. Listening to music can boost memory, Increase motivation, improve mood, and increase focus. To get the positives, avoid listening to music with lyrics because lyrics and words can be distracting. Listen to slow instrumental music or Lo-Fi music. Keep the volume low so that it's more like background music and avoid experimental music with sudden changes since both loud music and music that changes often can be distracting. Finally, don't listen to music that you either love or hate because the songs will distract you from your homework.
Work with others
Some people tend to work better alone and being with others makes them lose focus but for most people working with others can help motivation. Having a study buddy or a study group with several people makes it easier to do homework because there is always someone around to ask for help. Working with other people also makes homework more interesting because teaching a classmate something is a fun way of learning the material.
Have friendly competitions
If you have a study buddy, study group, or just good friends in class, competing with them is a great way to tackle the ‘how to motivate yourself to do homework’ problem. This can include things like seeing who gets a higher grade on a test next week, seeing who can finish 20 math problems the fastest, or quizzing each other on required reading. A little bit of friendly competition will absolutely boost your motivation.
Think about your goals
No matter what you do, some homework might just be incredibly hard or boring for you. In that case, think about what accomplishing the homework will get you. In the bigger picture, doing this homework well and understanding the material will get you a good grade which might get you into the college of your dreams. Doing homework well can also be its own reward, especially if it's difficult. Getting a good grade might get you a reward from your parents or might just make them proud of you. If you think about the bigger picture rather than just the task at hand you can often find the motivation to get things done.
Prioritize your homework
It's normal to have no motivation to do homework when you have a bunch of tasks piled up including some long and complicated assignments. Getting organized will help you understand that things are manageable. Many people are tempted to do the easy assignments first to get them out of the way, but this may leave you with not enough time to do the longer, more complex tasks. Think of it this way, once you get the more complicated tasks done you can do all the easy assignments without any stress or pressure, but if you're done with the easy tasks you still have the mental tension of the upcoming monster task in your head.
Ask your parents for help
Asking your parents for help is a great way how to motivate yourself to do homework. Studies have found that when parents are involved with their children's schoolwork, overall happiness within the family increases. It can be a fun way for you to bond with your parents, as well as tease them if you find out that you know something they don't!
Just get started
Procrastination and having no motivation to do homework are common not just among students but amongst humans everywhere. When you have a bunch of homework in front of you just getting started can seem impossible. If you find yourself in this situation, choose any homework assignment and force yourself to start working on it. Within a few minutes, you will find yourself getting into the groove and feeling motivated to finish the task.
Figure out your own way
Everyone is different and everyone learns differently. You can make a homework assignment more interesting by coming up with your own techniques to make it fun. If you have to read about a specific time in history, find documentaries that cover the same time period. Use online tools like YouTube and study websites to help you overcome problems you may have. If math isn't really your thing, find friends with whom you enjoy spending time and ask them to help you out.
Will It Work?
There's no big secret when it comes to how to motivate yourself to do homework. All the tips mentioned above have been proven to improve motivation to do homework and some of them are backed by studies about productivity in the workplace. Homework does not have to be this boring scary thing that eats away your free time.
If you change your perception of homework to be something that helps you achieve long-term goals as well as something that gives you information and knowledge you will be more motivated to do it. Also, think about what makes you unique and therefore how and where you might be the most motivated to do homework. Making a plan or a schedule and breaking homework up into smaller tasks is another way to make challenging amounts of homework more manageable.
These tips answer the question of how to motivate yourself to do homework. But sometimes even if you are highly motivated you just don't have enough time in the day to get everything done and some types of homework may just be challenging and difficult. In this case, there is absolutely no harm in asking for help. After all, the goal of homework is to help you learn and there are many ways to learn.
There are a lot of online resources that can help you with homework but Studyfy is one of the best. Studyfy is a one-stop platform for all the academic needs of students with tons of free resources and learning materials. They also have online tutors that have vast academic experience and will help you understand your homework and get it done.

What Is Motivation & How To Get Motivated
Your ultimate guide, by leon ho, founder of lifehack, why do we lose motivation every now and then why is it then that some people lose their inner spark over time, which is the pure source of inspiration.
Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes the “downs” or failures disappoint people so much that they lose the drive to achieve their goals. It also has a spiral effect where they start missing opportunities and lose the direction of life.
If you also find yourself feeling lost and unmotivated, you can start your journey again with a fresh mindset and a systematic way to stay motivated.
Read on and learn how you can find your drive, regain the lost motivation, and always stay motivated.
What Is Motivation and How Does It Work?
Motivation is one of the prime things that drive us to achieve greatness. It is a major driving force in our lives and can affect every aspect of our lives. Our level of motivation is a decisive factor in our level of success.
The Oxford Dictionary has multiple definitions of motivation:
- “The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a certain way.”
- “The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.”
- “Motivation is the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behavior.”
Motivation drives us to achieve goals and do what is required to succeed. It would be something that keeps you happy and fulfilled.
To understand more about the psychology behind motivation, go to The Psychology of Motivation: Why Is Motivation So Powerful?
Understanding the Theories of Motivation
Research has revealed numerous theories of motivation and motivating factors. By understanding the merits of these different theories of motivation, you can apply the best ways to keep yourself motivated.
There are three popular theories of motivation:
- Locke’s Goal Setting Theory – Motivation comes from setting SMART goals that can push people to make progress.
- McClelland’s Achievement and Required Needs Theory – The motivation of a person to succeed and the motivation of an individual to avoid failure serve as the foundation for this theory.
- Hull’s Drive Reduction Theory – It is based on the idea that when there are disruptions in homeostasis, people get driven to act. “Homeostasis,” which refers to our general health, means to preserve stability and remain the same.
To learn more about each of these theories and how these theories affect the way we feel motivated, check out How to Use the Theories of Motivation to Keep Yourself Uplifted.
The Importance of Motivation
Do you know what differentiates a confident and successful person from the common populace? It is the level of motivation instilled in the individual.
As humans, we have a skewed view of time. [2] We tend to ignore what’s really important in life and get lured to things that hardly matter. As a result, we keep working in a direction that does not give us satisfaction.
One of the most common misconceptions is that we have ample time and that everything is in control. It is important to realize that we have limited time and don’t have control over everything.
To live life to the fullest and enjoy its authenticity, you must embrace the reality of your limitations. Once you realize that your time and energy are not unlimited, you can use it as your lens for making the right decisions with your time.
Highly successful people understand that they have limited time and energy, and therefore only focus on things that truly matter. With this laser focus, they can align their time and energy with what they want to do. This is also why they are always motivated and are a lot more satisfied with their lives.
Life is meant to be experienced and not just spent. To experience life, you will have to discover your true source of motivation.
What Causes a Lack of Motivation?
The tricky part about motivation is not starting, but staying motivated. Every New Year, thousands decide they’re going to change their lives. Fewer than 10 percent actually stick with their resolution , and that’s being generous. Below you’ll find many common reasons why you’re losing motivation.
Not Aiming High Enough
While it’s easy to think setting easy goals will keep you motivated, it may harm your long-term motivation. If you make goals that are too achievable, you’ll get bored and lose interest. Ideally, you want to strike a balance between pushing yourself and creating realistic goals.
If you’re used to staying within your comfort zone, you’ll be missing out on the satisfaction of achieving a life-changing goal. When you push yourself, you’ll be able to build unshakable confidence as you crush goal after goal. When you look around one day and you’re living your dream, it’ll all be worth it.
Here are 7 Reasons to Dare to Dream Big .
Take Action
Recommended actionable tasks to benefit immediately, suffering from procrastination.
If you find it hard to stay focused and get started, you’ll find yourself falling behind.
Procrastination is a bad habit you must learn to deal with if you want to achieve your short-term goals. Some simple steps you can take to defeat procrastination are: commit to starting a task for at least 3 minutes, create daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists; and reward yourself when you complete your tasks.
Unclear Vision
Uncertainty about the future is a fear that many of us deal with. It can be paralyzing, instead of taking action, we start worrying about “What if?”
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if my dream isn’t truly my dream? What if I don’t succeed?”
If you have trouble creating a vision , then you’re at risk of drifting aimlessly through life. You’ll be driven to strive for excellence when you find your purpose and passion. You can start the process of discovering your life purpose by asking yourself: “What would my ideal life look like?”
Letting Fear Control Your Mind And Actions
Fear can prevent you from achieving your dreams. Instead of taking action and moving forward, you might be apprehensive due to the fear of failure.
You mustn’t allow fear to hold you back. You’ll inevitably miss out on career, relationship, and self-improvement opportunities if you don’t learn how to manage your fears. Fortunately, fear can be overcome .
One way to manage fear is to look for the root cause of your fear. With deep introspection, you can uncover the exact moment that triggered the fear that has been hindering your growth. This will give you a window of opportunity to communicate with your inner being and find release.
Facing your fear is the only way you’ll be able to become the best version of yourself. You don’t need to fix your problem overnight, but taking slow, thoughtful actions can have massive impacts on how you deal with your inside and outside world.
Feeling Overwhelmed With Work And Responsibilities
Otherwise known as burnout, it places you into a state of depression from overexertion and you struggle to achieve your goals . Burning out occurs when we put our well-being on the back burner to further ourselves in our careers or hobbies.
When we feel overwhelmed and forget about ourselves, it becomes challenging to unwind and find balance in life. Burning out is a sign that you’re motivated, but you need to learn how to separate work and home life. Without this separation, the lines begin to blur and you may find it increasingly difficult to find motivation for yourself when you’re constantly wiped out from work.
Signs You Have Lost Motivation
Most people are aware that they lack motivation to do what they want to. But some people may confuse a lack of motivation with something else. The fact is, there’re a lot of signs of lacking motivation besides feeling tired and wanting to procrastinate.
Self-Reflection Time!
Types of motivation.
Understanding and knowing how to use the different types of motivation can help you reach your goals.
Intrinsic Motivation vs Extrinsic Motivation
There’re two major types of motivation:
- Intrinsic motivation
- Extrinsic motivation
Intrinsic Motivation
Some psychology researchers have associated intrinsic behavior with basic human needs, creativity, performance enhancement, and contentment. [3] When we carry out a task that fulfills our natural urges, such as hunger, thirst, and sleep, we are better equipped with the drive to complete a task. Other times, we might simply do something because it stimulates the aesthetic experience of being in that state of activity, such as hobbies.
Simply put, activities that bring us satisfaction and joy are powered by intrinsic motivation because an internal reward system fuels them.
Intrinsic motivation stems from finding satisfaction from within and doesn’t rely on potential external gain.
If you play a sport but only for enjoyment, you’re doing it out of intrinsic motivation. The same could be said for drawing, meditating, learning, and reading. Anything that you pursue for enjoyment rather than for potential personal benefit is intrinsic motivation.
You’ll find that it’s easier to stick with an intrinsic motivation because you’re enjoying the process rather than depending on an external factor to bring you happiness.
Find out more about intrinsic motivation in Why Intrinsic Motivation Is So Powerful (And How to Find It) .
ExTrinsic Motivation
When we are not inherently motivated to perform a task because it does not bring about a sense of satisfaction, we are extrinsically motivated. Such motivation facilitates our desire to attain a reward or avoid punishment.
Not all the work we do brings us joy, owing to its repetitive nature, urgency, necessity, frequency, duration, or monotony. Whether it is dragging ourselves to work/school every morning or working on weekends, we tend to undertake tasks that might not inherently please or satisfy us. Usually, an external force or ulterior motive drives us to complete such tasks. Rewards like money, praise, and fame drive our motivation extrinsically.
However, extrinsic motivation does not necessarily mean that we are unwilling to do something. We just seek an external reward from it. For example, a person might like writing but goes the extra mile to make money out of it.
Extrinsic motivation is working towards a tangible goal that has a specific outcome.
Working hard to get promoted is extrinsic motivation. Playing a sport only to win is extrinsic motivation.
Extrinsic motivation doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”, but you may find that extrinsic motivation brings you less fulfillment than intrinsic motivation.
Learn more about extrinsic motivation in What Is External Motivation and How Can You Use It?
Breakdown of the Motivation Types
While intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation are the major types of motivation, we can further break them down into 7 types.
If you’re interested to know more about the different types of motivation that can help you achieve your goals, don’t miss the 9 Types of Motivation to Make Your Goals Happen .
How to Get Motivated Instantly — 4 Quick Hacks
Before I dive into the most effective method that can give you lasting motivation, I’d like to share with you 4 quick hacks to boost your motivation instantly.
1. Focus on Just One or Two Things
Most of the time laziness is the product of a full plate and no idea where to start. When you try to tackle everything at once, it’s hard not to feel like this.
But when you focus on one or two things at a time, it’s easier to get motivated and not feel so overwhelmed. Once you’ve found the strength to get up and finish one thing, deep down the thought, “hey, maybe I can do this” starts to creep in. Next thing you know, your whole list is done and you’re fist-pumping in celebration with all your friends!
2. Change Up Your Routine
When it comes to making life changes, it’s all about the small things you do every day. If you want to wake up feeling more motivated, you should start making changes in your daily routine and habits.
I recommend you try these 30 refreshing routines to boost your motivation.
3. Read, Watch or Listen to Something Motivational
Another quick hack is to get inspired by motivational materials. At Lifehack, we offer plenty of motivational resources including:
- 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges
- 22 Powerful Words That Will Give You Life Motivation
- 50 Self-Affirmations to Help You Stay Motivated Every Day
- 20 All-Time Best Motivational Books to Inspire You
- 16 Best Podcasts on Motivation to Help You Reach Your Goals
- 20 Videos On YouTube That Will Super Boost Your Motivation
- 32 Inspirational Songs that Keep You Motivated for Life
4. Allow Yourself Time to Relax and Rest
There is a big difference between being lazy and resting. Laziness has no purpose. Resting is necessary for life and clears your mind so you can tackle your endeavors head-on.
Maybe you’ve been working on a project for too long and you’re burned out. Try sleeping on it. Let yourself have some time to rest. Our bodies and minds need rest to function at optimal levels.
Take Action Now!
How to gain motivation and stay motivated.
There are two key parts to gaining motivation and staying motivated:
- Getting to the bottom of your “why” and having a clear intention.
- Generating momentum by focusing on progress.
They must both work together. Without a clear why, your actions will lose direction and focus. Without momentum, your energy will deteriorate when you encounter obstacles.
With these two key parts in mind, you can start building a motivation engine for yourself.
The three components that make up a motivation engine are:
- Surface – Acknowledgement – The top layer, sometimes referred to as Acknowledgement, includes all forms of external praise that could inspire you. It could take the shape of respect or acknowledgment.
- Support – Enablers – Your goals are essentially supported by the incentive engine’s second layer, sometimes called Enablers.
- Core – Purpose – The most crucial factor, though, and the real source of your inspiration, is your Purpose, which is your innermost part. What sets the motivated from the unmotivated, the overachievers from the underachievers and the happy from the miserable is your mission.
You have to go beyond the surface if you want to stay motivated.
Find the Source of Your Motivation
To get to the bottom of finding answers to this question — What motivates you? We can use a simple technique called Peeling the Onion .
Think of a goal you have. Take 30 seconds to think about it.
Do you have a general idea? Okay, now for step 2.
Fill in the blanks to this statement:
I want [ your goal] because [the result you want].
For example, “I want to go to the gym because it will make me fit and in shape. ”
Now, take the second part of your statement (i.e the result you want) and repeat the statement again — Peel another layer of the onion.
For example, “I want to be fit and in shape because …”
Each time you peel the onion once, ask yourself this question:
“Is this really what I want?”
The point is to get to the core – the thing actually powers your motivation. As you get closer to the core, you should feel it … it should trigger your spark.
If not, keep peeling the onion — sometimes it only takes one or two steps to get to the core. Sometimes it takes up to five steps! Don’t worry about how many it takes. Just be absolutely honest with yourself.
This goal setting exercise is for you, and for you alone. Nobody’s going to see it. So you can be completely honest with what you actually want. Because if you can’t do that, you’re not going to have real motivation to keep moving forward.
The example we were using above was from a real student, who discovered what she really wanted was the confidence to join a dance class:
“What I really want is to be fit enough to join a Spanish dance class and I’m going to start by getting back in shape at the gym.”
Now It's Your Turn!
Motivation for specific purposes.
In addition to all the motivation tips above, we understand that you may be looking for motivation for a specific purpose. This section can help you find ways to achieve your goals.
Work Motivation
Another area where people lose motivation is through their work. Where most people get stuck usually stems from one of these four traps:
- Your values are mismatched. A task doesn’t connect with or contribute to your core values . You see no reason to do it so you don’t do it.
- You lack confidence . Deep down you think you aren’t capable.
- You’re experiencing disruptive emotions. You’re consumed by various negative emotions whether that’s fear , anxiety , anger , or depression. These emotions sap away your motivation so you don’t do the task.
- Victim Complex. You attribute your lack of performance to something outside of your control .
To overcome these lack of motivation scenarios, check out 13 Ways to Get Motivated to Work.
Weight Loss Motivation
There are times when you feel like giving up on your fitness goals, especially when sticking to a workout routine and healthy diet is so challenging. Here’re some reasons why you lose your weight loss motivation:
- You’re doing the same thing every day. Not necessarily the same workout but if you’re doing 3 sets of 10 reps every week, you’re eventually going to get bored of doing it.
- You’ve plateaued. If your goal is to lose weight, it can be demoralizing to see the same number on the scale every morning even if you’re working out hard.
- You are working out alone. While being on your own is fine, it can get lonely, and bringing a friend can help you in showing up.
- You’re not recovering properly. You’re going to lose motivation if you’re working out and then immediately going down to a fast-food joint.
- The environment has changed. Visiting the same gym all the time can get old as well.
To keep your weight loss motivation high, check out these motivation guides:
- 17 Ideas to Get Motivated to Lose Weight Now
- How to Find Workout Motivation When You Hate Exercise
- How To Stay Motivated For Making Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Final Words: How to Stay Motivated
Having a strong support system can help you stay motivated when facing a big challenge.
“Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.” — Norman Ralph Augustine
Getting and staying motivated will make an immense difference in your life. You’ll be able to tackle those goals and dreams that you’ve put aside for years. You’ll also be able to set yourself new and exciting goals that you would never have considered before.
Simply utilize the advice in this guide to keep yourself motivated even during the toughest times.
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- How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them
- Browse all our Motivation Articles
Torie Henderson
- January 6, 2019
How can I motivate my son to do his homework after school?
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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework
10 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Better in School
By debbie pincus, ms lmhc.

How do you motivate a child who doesn’t seem to want to do his school work?
As parents, we are invested in our child’s academic life because we know how important it is for their future. Unfortunately, our kids don’t always seem to share our concern about their future. We know this because they continue to prioritize watching YouTube, gaming, and hanging out with their friends over their school work.
Why aren’t our kids motivated to do well in school? After all, it’s in their self-interest to do well. Why don’t they want to succeed as much as we want them to succeed?
Here’s the problem. School is an aspect of life that requires discipline and work, and kids need to learn to buy into the value of doing well. Your child must own the importance of doing well himself. Motivation can’t be forced. And if you try to force your child to be motivated, it almost always makes things worse.
Nevertheless, there are positive steps that you can take to help your child motivate himself to do better in school. Most of these steps involve setting up a structure to enable him to have better discipline and follow-through. This structure improves your child’s chance of success, and the taste of success is often what drives motivation.
In my work with parents and kids over the years, I have found the following 10 tips to help put your child in the best position to succeed and be motivated in school.
1. Stay Positive
Keep a relationship with your child that is open, respectful, and positive. Remind yourself that you and your child are on the same team. This will allow you to be influential, which is your most important parenting tool.
Punishing, preaching, and threatening will get you nowhere and will be detrimental to your relationship and their motivation. Your feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear are normal and understandable. But reacting to your kids out of these emotions is ineffective and makes things worse.
Remember, your child is not behaving this way on purpose to make your life miserable. When you feel yourself getting worked up, try saying to yourself, “My child is just not there yet.”
And remind yourself that your job is to help him learn how to be responsible. If you get negative and make this a moral issue, then your child might become defiant, reacting to you instead of thinking through things himself.

2. Incorporate the “When You” Rule
One of life’s lessons is that we get paid after we do the work. So start saying things like:
“When you finish studying, you are welcome to go to your friend’s house.”
“When your homework is completed, we can discuss watching that movie you wanted to see on Netflix.”
Enforce this rule and stick to it. If your child does not yet have the necessary discipline, this will help to create it.

Indeed, by enforcing the “when you” rule, you are helping her learn how to do what her brain is not yet equipped to do, which is to be disciplined and to delay gratification.
3. Create Structure for Your Child
If your child is not studying and his grades are dropping, you have a right to get involved, whether he wants you there or not. Again, you’re not there to do the work for him. Instead, you are there to help set up the structure that he cannot create for himself.
The structure might include scheduled study times, having the computer out in a public place in your home, and saying, “No video games or electronics until after your homework is done.”
You might decide that he must devote a certain amount of hours to study time. During this time, no electronics or other distractions are allowed. You might make the rule that even if he finishes all his homework, he must complete study time by reviewing, reading, or editing.
Some kids do better listening to music while they study, and that’s okay. But keep in mind that this can be tricky because their music is usually integrated with their phones. This means YouTube, Twitter, Reddit, and instant messaging will all be at their fingertips.
If you can’t effectively keep them off those apps, then no phone and no music until their work is done. Just say:
“You can listen to music when you finish your homework.”
Think of it this way: schools don’t allow phones in class, and neither should you.
Understand that this structure is not a punishment. Rather, it is a way to help him to develop a good work ethic and to focus on his school subjects.
4. Meet With the Teacher
If your child’s grades and work habits are not up to par, you can set up a plan by sitting down with him and his teachers.
Have your child check with his teacher each day before coming home to ensure that he has all his homework assignments.
Also, you can ask him each morning to ensure that he brings his homework back to school. For me, nothing was more frustrating than my son doing his homework but then forgetting to bring it to school.
Once your child gets better at managing his time, completing his work, and getting organized, then it’s time for you to back off. Let him do it on his own. Only step in if he is consistently having a problem.
5. Identify a Study Spot
Your child may need a quiet location away from brothers and sisters to study. Or she may do better in a room near others. You can help her experiment, but once you find what works best, keep her in that location.
To keep your child focused, you may need to sit with her while she does her homework. You can read a book or newspaper while she works. At a minimum, be nearby to help ensure that she stays on track.

It’s okay to help her with her homework if she is stuck, but don’t do her work for her. For example, it’s okay to review her work and ask her if a certain paragraph makes sense to her. But it’s not okay to write every sentence or work on every math problem with her. Give just enough help to get her over the hump. Remember, learning how to struggle through difficult material is one of the skills your child needs to learn.
6. Break Assignments Into Manageable Pieces
Decide together whether you need to help him break down his assignments into smaller pieces and organize on a calendar what he should get done each day.
You can get him a big wall calendar or a whiteboard. It could be electronic if that is preferable, but I prefer written tools because electronics can be distracting.
7. Be Firm and Consistent with Homework Rules
You want to be positive and helpful to your child. At the same time, though, you have to be firm. You have to consistently enforce the rules you establish.
Being firm and consistent sends the message to your child that you know he can succeed.
Being firm also means that you enforce the rules with effective consequences. If he doesn’t follow the rules you set up, apply the consequences. And don’t try to shield him from the natural consequences of not doing his work, even if that means bad or failing grades.
In being firm, stay positive. For every negative interaction with your child, try to create ten positive ones. Try to put the focus on supporting and encouraging him instead of worrying and nagging.
And don’t take his performance personally. When you start to believe his grades are a reflection of you or your parenting, then you will be on his case, and it will make things worse.
8. Be Aware of His Anxiety Level
Recognize that much of your child’s lack of motivation (or what looks like irresponsibility) might be his anxiety or shame about academics and schoolwork. Kids may not be able to explain all of this to you because it’s not always on a conscious level for them.
Anxiety can be misinterpreted as a lousy attitude, lack of motivation, and irresponsibility. Often, the cover-up for these vulnerable emotions can take the form of acting out, shutting down, avoidance, or defiance.
While a little anxiety can motivate, too much blocks your child’s ability to think and to have access to the part of the brain that helps him with motivation.
Keep your emotions in check by recognizing that it may be your child’s anxiety at play rather than his laziness. Calmly help to give him a better structure to get his work done, and it will help reduce his anxiety.
And remember that what is happening now may look very different as your child matures and develops.
9. Don’t Over-Function For Your Child
It’s nerve-wracking and frustrating to see your child struggle and not meet his potential. You may feel that your child’s lack of motivation is a poor reflection on your parenting. In response, you react and shift into overdrive to get your child to succeed so that your feelings of shame, embarrassment, failure, or fear go away.
In the process, you may be tempted to over-function by helping to complete his work for him. But don’t do it. Resist the temptation. The more you over-function for your child, the more he will react to your anxiety, which causes things to go further and further downhill. Just set up the structure to help him succeed, but let him do the work and bear the consequences, good or bad.
Be your child’s coach. Set the strategy and give direction, but stay on the sidelines and let your child play the game—Root for him to win and praise him when he does. But don’t be afraid to let him fail. It’s all part of growing up and learning to take responsibility.
10. Don’t Obsess About the Future
When your child seems to have no interest in his life, it’s easy to start fast-forwarding into the future. When he acts like he doesn’t care about anything except video games and his friends, you worry that he won’t be successful or even function on his own. This heightens your anxiety and fear.
But none of us have a crystal ball or can see into the future. Focusing on the negative things your child is doing will only bring the spotlight on them and may set you both up for a power struggle. Instead, focus on your child’s positive traits and help him work on those in the present.
Is he outgoing? Helpful? A good cook? Good with cars or electronics? Focus on all the things that go into a developed, successful person, not just academics and grades. Help your child develop in social, creative, and emotional ways. Remember to always keep the big picture in mind.
For all of these tips, start from where your child is. What I mean is that, in many cases, your child may have a long way to go, and you don’t want to overwhelm him by trying to work on too many issues at once.
Expect that your child won’t like the structure at first, but he will get used to it. Be patient. Don’t expect improvement overnight, but don’t underestimate your child either. Be confident that he will come around and will improve with the structures you have put in place.
Related content: Sinking Fast at School: How to Help Your Child Stay Afloat “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over School Work
About Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC
For more than 25 years, Debbie has offered compassionate and effective therapy and coaching, helping individuals, couples and parents to heal themselves and their relationships. Debbie is the creator of the Calm Parent AM & PM™ program and is also the author of numerous books for young people on interpersonal relations.
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BW RC I agree with you.
Parents most definitely need to stay involved in making sure their kids are on track academically. Here are some tips, parent to parent, from someone who has raised kids who have had success in school:
(1) Understand each of your child's capabilities and set expectations at home. Keep in mind that every child is different and outcomes will vary. The one commonality is that every child needs to achieve to the best of his/her own ability. Establishing work ethic is key in the early academic years.
(2) Help your child with organizational tools. Many kids struggle early on because they miss due dates or don't know how to manage their time because of poor organization. Buy them agendas to write down assignments and talk to them at the beginning of each week about upcoming tests and projects.
(3) Create a quiet, stress-free environment at home where kids can focus without distraction.
(4) Self esteem and confidence are extremely important. Always try to focus on positive reinforcement rather than taking a punitive approach. Verbally acknowledge improvements, even if the grade isn't where you would like it to be. If a child scores a low C on a test one week, and brings it up to a mid C the next, focus on the improvement, not on the disappointment that the grade isn't an A.
(5) Teach your child to communicate directly with his/her teachers and take advantage of study halls and other opportunities to seek instruction. Only get involved directly if all other avenues have been exhausted.
RC These suggestions are great for those with children, who have little defiance and will react to consequences, by changing their behavior. But, for our kid, nothing seems to work, either positive or negative. Unfortunately, I find this information much too basic and general. We’ve tried all of this and nothing More has stuck. The only suggestion I can see as potentially beneficial is number nine. Focus on what the kid is good at and hope for the best. But, until kids can stop lying to everyone, especially themselves, it’s all for nothing...
Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.
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column | Teaching & Learning
How to motivate students to actually do homework and reading, by bonni stachowiak (columnist) jan 7, 2022.

Bondar Illia / Shutterstock
This article is part of the guide Toward Better Teaching: Office Hours With Bonni Stachowiak.
The following is the latest installment of the Toward Better Teaching advice column . You can pose a question for a future column here .
Reader Question:
Dear Bonni, What ideas do you have for student accountability? How do we get students to do pre-class work without giving a grade to everything? —Looking for change
Dave, my husband, was in the driveway a few days ago, about to head somewhere with our two kids. I had just finished my elliptical workout and he asked, “Are you glad you did it?” I was glad, but it didn’t start that way. The moves came prior to the motivation.
For 429 days straight, I have exercised for at least thirty minutes, a routine that gets reinforced by the sense of accomplishment and my overall better health. I was indeed happy to have taken that next step toward continuing my commitment. But I don’t rely on a feeling to get me moving most days. Instead, I lean on the power of habits to draw me into action, even when the way I’m feeling doesn’t necessarily prompt me. Often, students experience the same mindset around out of class preparation and we wind up needing to help them establish good habits beyond what they may naturally exhibit on their own.
James Clear describes the four components of our established patterns in “ Atomic Habits: An Easy, Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones .” Cues are the triggers that we humans associate with some type of a reward. Cravings are the drives that motivate us to act. Responses are the behaviors or thoughts we in turn produce, assuming that there isn’t too much friction preventing them—and ample reasons to produce them. Rewards are what we get when we take the intended action or think the desired thought.
Building up a habit like the one I have done for exercise involves both intrinsic and extrinsic motivators for most people. It actually requires some unlearning, and some changes in approach, to create an environment that better encourages students to complete assigned activities. Instructors first need to consider how we use grades in our teaching—and then explore what kinds of intrinsic and extrinsic motivations exist and persist for our students.
Much of our students’ educational experiences have taught them to search out the rewards for a transactional gauge of their actions in the form of points or grades. In Susan Blum’s “ Ungrading: Why Rating Students Undermines Learning (And What to Do, Instead) ,” we discover that when it comes to concerns about grade inflation:
“The trouble isn’t that too many students are getting As but that too many students have been led to believe the primary purpose of schooling is to get As,” she writes.
Part of the reason why students don’t complete the pre-work for classes is because they have been conditioned to focus on extrinsic rewards in their education. All too often, collecting as many points as possible becomes the game, perfectly designed to squeeze out any intrinsic motivations that might have otherwise surfaced along the way.
So how do you get students to complete the tasks that will help them better engage in a class session? Here are some approaches that have worked well for me specific to the context you inquired about.
Two common concerns that I’ve come across are that:
- Grading takes up too much time for instructors, and that
- Instructors wish students did the work before class without needing to be awarded points for their effort.
First of all, there are approaches that can help reduce grading time while still giving useful feedback to students. For instance, instructors can strategically assign tasks that can be auto-graded, or spot-checked. When vocabulary is an important aspect of a class I’m teaching, I will sometimes assign an auto-graded quiz that presents ten questions from a large bank of terms and allow for the quiz to be repeated by students until they earn their desired score. In other assignments, students are instructed to record a screencast of themselves playing a matching game that reinforces the vocabulary.
Michelle Miller encourages us in “ Minds Online: Teaching Effectively With Technology ” to not feel like instructors have to evaluate each and every thing that a student submits to one of our classes. In my case, I tend to watch every screencast video that is submitted, or otherwise how would I ever learn the names of each student’s pet? But I do watch the videos at double speed, and I’m able to get through them relatively quickly. And I sometimes delegate some portion of the work to a teaching assistant.
The most common homework given to students in most classes is reading. To incentivize that, I typically assign reading exercises and quizzes. First, I ask students to submit analog or digital notes related to what they read. A common format I use is a 5-3-1 structure: where they identify five main points that stood out to them, three ways they might apply what they read and one question they have as a discussion prompt for others who read the same passages. Second, I frequently have fewer than ten auto-graded questions to test for understanding of the assigned reading. Finally, I have around five reflection and application questions as part of the reading quiz.
As for the complaint that students should want to do reading or other pre-work purely from intrinsic motivation, I have this advice. In the book “ Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us ,” Daniel Pink notes that: “Goals that people set for themselves and that are devoted to attaining mastery are usually healthy. But goals imposed by others—sales targets, quarterly returns, standardized test scores, and so on—can sometimes have dangerous side effects.” It’s worth reflecting on ways we can let students be more self-directed to foster intrinsic motivation in their studies.
When I spoke with James Lang for the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, he shared the way his thinking has evolved regarding motivation. He stressed that the research shows that:
“We need to have those intrinsic motivators, and a lot of school-based motivation is extrinsic in the form of grades and degrees and all that other stuff. We do need to pull up those intrinsic motivators in any way that you can. I have to say though, over the past few years, as I’ve continued to look at that research and think more and more about this question, I’ve come to believe that actually we need both intrinsic and extrinsic motivators in order to be successful.”
Lang continued to describe how in endeavors such as exercise, ideally we would be intrinsically motivated, but people often aren’t. Instead, they use social connections and external reminders of their achievements to bridge the gap between the actions (actually going for the run) and the rewards (recognizing how great it feels after we exercise). In this way, the extrinsic and intrinsic motivations can spur each other on.
Another overall recommendation on how to get students to not require as much external motivation is to consider the alternatives to traditional grades. In addition to Susan Blum’s ‘Ungrading,’ I recommend:
Grading for Growth : This collection of posts via the Substack newsletter engine by Robert Talbert and David Clark explores the challenges with the ways we tend to approach grades in higher education and how to use alternative grading practices that focus on growth.
Ungrading Twitter Thread : Curated by Jesse Stommel, this thread has the links to much of Jesse’s writing and speaking on the topic. Instead of adopting “best practices,” he implores us to adopt what he called “necessary practices.”
How have I been able to keep up a 429-day streak of exercise? Partially, it is because I want to live longer and be able to be more present for those I love. The intrinsic factors motivating me are strong over the long haul and they build upon one another. However, when it comes to the daily discipline to keep going, it does help when I get these buzzes on my wrist via an Apple Watch, telling me that I can still achieve my fitness goals for the day. When I look at the app that reports out my streaks, yet taunts me with what is left to accomplish today to keep the momentum going, I wind up doing the thing I don’t feel like doing in the moment for the bigger picture rewards.
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the long-running podcast, Teaching in Higher Ed . She is also dean of teaching and learning at Vanguard University of Southern California.
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How to motivate yourself to do homework

So, you love school. Right? Right! Who doesn’t like to learn new things and make sense of the world around them? But are you motivated to do homework or take an online exam ?
Unfortunately for some people, school can be really really hard. You know how it is – you have a great idea of what’s going on in class but somehow it just slips your mind when you get home! Then, before you realise it’s 10 pm and homework hasn’t been done again
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These are all problems that most students experience, and they’re real. But what’s the real problem? Is it a lack of motivation across the board? Or is it something else – perhaps stress or anxiety over work you haven’t yet learnt?
It can be tricky to identify how you feel about schoolwork, especially if these feelings have been going on for a while. However, even if your grades aren’t as good as you’d like them to be, identifying your emotions should help give you a better idea of why you put things off.
Why do students procrastinate?
I’m scared/anxious! This might sound silly but ‘fear’ is one of the main reasons students don’t do their work! In fact, it’s one of the main reasons anyone doesn’t do anything they’re meant to!
Fear can be a really powerful deterrent to whatever you want to achieve. So how do we overcome these feelings?
Motivation is not a feeling or a switch that people can turn on or off at will, but for some reason, so many people struggle with this concept. The misconception about motivation being an all-or-nothing thing leads students to think there’s something wrong with them when they don’t get work done – and worse still, if their grades aren’t good enough then surely something must be broken inside…right?
Actually, no. This belief about motivation being an either/or situation is messed up because it means that every time you don’t do something, you ‘give up’ a little bit of yourself. And who would want to be defined by their failures?! That’s dark stuff…
Instead, try thinking about motivation as a skill that everyone has. Some people just have more practice than others! It might take time and effort but with the right direction and desire to improve, it is possible to become better at motivating yourself.
So how can we get started?
The best way to practise motivation is to start small – if you don’t achieve much in your first few tries, then there’s no sense trying and setting yourself up for failure. Start off with easy tasks: maybe tidy your room or go for a walk outside! Don’t worry about getting things perfect; just do what you can.
By doing this, you might feel a little better about yourself and realise that it’s not the end of the world if you put things off or mess up. Plus, take it from someone who knows – once you get started on something, it gets a lot easier! If motivation is truly an either/or situation then it would be impossible to start anything….but hey, here I am writing away!
Motivation isn’t about being perfect, or getting everything right first time around. It’s more like practice for your brain to learn new behaviours and become better at motivating yourself in different situations. If these techniques help, then hopefully they will stick with you when exams come around and finally mean that you’re less likely to put things off until the last minute!

Are you motivated to do school work on your own?
If motivation to do school work is your problem, here are a few point that will help increase school motivation and be able to do your schoolwork .
- Identify what your fears are about schoolwork – write down all of them on a piece of paper. This is important because otherwise they will just fly around in your head and cause chaos. If you do nothing else from this post, please let it be this step. This will really help you focus on what’s going on in your brain right now!
- Imagine how ridiculous these fears sound when written down – they might still be scary, but seeing them written down on paper might help you realise that they’re not as bad as you think. If your fears are totally crazy like mine were (oh no I’m going to fail everything and it’s the end of the world lol), then congrats! But seriously- give yourself some credit for working through these fears. You’ve come this far; I promise things will get easier from here on out.
- Tell yourself that whatever happens, school is still important – even if you don’t feel like it at the moment, remind yourself of why education is good for you in general.
I know that sounds really cheesy but honestly- this was a key part of my journey out of school motivation problems. Even when things looked their bleakest, I just kept reminding myself that school is important and that it’s there to help me in the future.

How to get motivated to study in class
As for when you’re in class…well, here’s a few tips to get you motivated to study better.
- Take breaks – sometimes the best way to get stuff done is just to give yourself a break from it! It might be hard at first but taking regular breaks can actually make work feel easier too. My favourite study tip is getting up every twenty minutes or so and going for a short walk- even if I’m not taking an exam it helps me concentrate so much more.
- Do what works for you – this goes hand in hand with taking breaks (i.e. don’t force yourself to follow someone else’s method if it doesn’t work for you). For example, I can’t colour coordinate my notes to save my life. But do I have to? Nah! I just need a pen and paper and something to write with- the order in which I fill these up is entirely inconsequential.
- Practice gratitude – sometimes even when we know that our work will pay off one day, motivation still seems like a distant dream. As cheesy as it sounds, practicing gratitude really does help me remember how much school has helped me over the years. In fact, now whenever I find myself struggling with motivation I make a point of writing down three different things for which I’m grateful at the end of each week. It’s amazing how this simple act can improve your day, week and month.
And there you have it- motivation in school for high school, college, and graduate school students in a nutshell. It might feel like an uphill battle right now but just remind yourself that school will always be here for you. With time, patience and effort all things are possible!
- Related: Can I pay someone to do my homework for me?

Tips on how to get motivated to do school work
Here are 15 tips to get motivated to do school work or complete your homework:
1. Set a goal
If you have no goals or do not care about your future, it will be hard to get motivated to do school work. Setting goals can motivate you because they give you something to aim for and help you decide what classes are important for you. Some good goals are getting into the college that has been your dream, becoming an architect because you love to design buildings, or getting a degree in biology so you can work as a doctor.
2. Make it visual
Take pictures of things that inspire you and put them up where you study. They should be pictures of your family or something that means a lot to you. You will be reminded of the reason why you are working hard for your future when you look at these pictures every day.
3. Get organized
It is very important to be organized because then it is easier to get started on your school work, complete it faster, and take out all your assignments once they are due instead of scrambling around looking for them the night before they are due. This also lets other people know what’s going on with your school work. You can become more organized by using a agenda for classes, marking the due dates of assignments in it, and setting an alert for yourself when you need to pull out your homework.
4. Get social
It is good to talk about what you are doing in your life, both at home and in school, because it lets people know what you are up to which helps motivate you even more because they will be expecting something from you soon. It also helps you get feedback on how well you are doing so that way if there is something wrong, like not enough time spent studying for a test or forgetting about an assignment, then there is time to fix it before anything important happens
5. Set reminders
Make sure you write down all your deadlines, tests, and assignments in your agenda, study planner, or phone so that you do not forget about them. If something does slip your mind then set up reminders so you can be alerted when it is due or is coming up. This will also help if the date/time of an event changes because you will be less likely to miss it than if there was no reminder
6. Give yourself breaks
Every now and then give yourself a reward for getting something important done like studying for a test or finishing one assignment. You can take 5-10 minutes every hour just to rest your brain which helps with remembering things much more than cramming everything into one night does. Your brain needs time to process what you are learning in your classes, especially when it comes to memorizing things, so do not rush yourself.
7. Reward yourself with a goal
Doing something for an extended period of time is hard and doing it all the time is even harder. For example, studying for class everyday can become very stressful if you are not motivated enough which makes it seem like there is no point in continuing because you will just be doing more practicing than anything important. One way to prevent this from happening is by setting up rewards after you have been studying for a certain amount of time, say three hours or six hours if that seems too long to study at once. This doesn’t give yourself a reason to stop but rather a reason to keep going until you reach your goal/reward which helps motivate others in different situations as well.
8. Do something you enjoy
Sometimes people get so caught up in their work that they forget to have fun. If there is a subject or assignment that you do not like, then find someone who can help you with it. You can also ask for help online because there are many helpful websites that will explain what you don’t understand. The most important thing is to remember not to stress about things because being stressed makes humans less likely to be able to think clearly and take good decisions, two things which are necessary when studying.
9. Focus on one task at a time
Doing too much at once makes it seem more difficult than it really is. For example, if you have five tests in one week but spend all your study time trying to study for all of them, then you will get nowhere because it’s like trying to run five marathons at the same time. You are less likely to remember everything that happened in each test if you are constantly thinking about what is coming next.
10. Get enough sleep
It is important to get enough sleep when your brain needs a little break from studying or when you are feeling tired because it gives your mind time to rest and process the information in your head which makes it easier for you to understand new ideas when they come along later in life. Taking short breaks often also helps with keeping yourself motivated because every now and then it’s good for both your body and mind to relax instead of focusing on studying nonstop.
11. Get homework help online
It is easier than ever to get help online because there are so many helpful websites and people who would love to answer your questions if you ask them nicely. For example, Google has a feature called “ homework answers ” which allows you to type in what you want and then it will give you the best results that match up with your question. With this tool at your disposal it makes studying for big tests much more manageable because if they don’t go well then someone who understands the subject may see your problem and help you fix it quickly. Ask for homework help by professionals.
Why school motivation matters
School motivation means making sure students feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the tasks at hand in the classroom. In this way, teachers can encourage students to learn more effectively, which benefits them for years to come as well as society as a whole. Building up motivation in students can help the school system because the school climate is more conducive to learning.
It’s important for teachers to motivate students so they feel positive about class and about themselves while there. This ensures that students are able to concentrate on what they’re supposed to be learning, which makes it easier for them to understand concepts and absorb information. If a teacher can build up motivation in each student he or she has, then even if the whole class seems somewhat incapable of focusing when the teacher begins lessons, at least there will be one person who will remain interested in what’s going on. Since motivation is lacking in many schools these days , this could make all the difference in whether or not a student succeeds academically .
A lack of motivation affects not only students’ educations, but their lives as well. Low motivation may lead to a student’s dropping out of high school or even not graduating from college when they’re supposed to. This has a negative impact on his or her chances at getting a good job in the future and being able to provide for themselves and their families . This can have a significant effect on poverty rates across America, so it is important that students be motivated in class in order to ensure a better life for everyone.
In conclusion , it is necessary for teachers to help motivate each student so everybody feels encouraged about learning again. When this happens, then the whole class will be more engaged in lessons and likely succeed with less difficulty than no one was feeling motivated. So, teachers can change students’ lives for the better if they take the time to make sure everyone is feeling encouraged about learning.
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How To Motivate Yourself To Do Homework When You Are Absolutely Not Into It?
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